How I Developed an Attitude of Gratitude.
I don’t have a normal job. I work from home, building my own business based on a series of children’s books I have written/am in the process of writing. It’s slow going and I haven’t made much money (yet) but I’m supplementing that in any way I can, which includes utilizing Google AdSense and other opportunities to monetize my website (mrbobobook.com). I enjoy what I’m doing and appreciate the opportunity to do it.
Not too long ago I had a job as a budget analyst, which tells you two things about me: I’m very analytical and I dealt with money on a regular basis. But here’s another thing: I didn’t enjoy that job, it stressed me out.
And I didn’t just leave that feeling at the office door, I took it home with me as well.
Another problem I encountered is that my home budget looked very much like my work budget: several workbooks within a spreadsheet to track my various bills – and always the optimist, I had a payment schedule that calculated how long it would be until I paid my debts off based on the interest rate and the amount of my payment. Oddly the payoff dates always seemed to get pushed into the future; it rarely worked out that I paid a debt off, much less paid it off when I expected to.
So I grew frustrated and money became an obsession at work and at home. I not only tracked every penny, I also felt guilty for spending money on anything that wasn’t a necessity. I spent about ten hours a day immersed in budgets feeling worse and worse about my situation.
Eventually life caught up with me.
A couple of years ago my husband and I made a major life decision. We were tired of living apart and decided to try something new. I quit my job and we got an RV so that I could travel with him as he tried a new career in the cell tower field. I was never thrilled with my income, but in hindsight it was fairly substantial, and the loss of that money had a definite impact on our financial situation. But we had a plan, and had things worked out the way they were supposed to, we would have been fine.
Unfortunately, they did not.
The job we based this grand plan on fell through. The next job was a few months in coming and then the company folded. We didn’t have much money coming in and the worse it got, the more stressed I became and the more I obsessed about money. We basically lived off credit cards because we had no other option. Eventually our debt became more than I could handle and I was forced to file for bankruptcy. It’s not something I ever intended to do, but there was really no other option. Still, once I finally accepted reality, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was nervous about the process, I felt horrible for doing it, but at the same time, I saw a glimmer of hope for our future. The opportunity for a do-over, and this time we would do it right.
But, as you can imagine, I was still focusing on our lack of money. So the past debts were erased and that helped a lot, but we still had bills to pay.
Eventually I remembered The Law of Attraction and decided to be thankful for what I did have. I created another vision board, one with no limitations because it doesn’t matter if I can afford it now, that’s not the point – I can dream up whatever I want, and enjoy the feeling it brings me.
Today I realized that even though I’m not making much from my website and books at the moment, I am thankful for every penny. Instead of bemoaning the fact that I haven’t sold thousands of books, I am building a foundation and every step I take is a success story. Every time I see my account balance go up I am elated. Every day I am making progress.
It didn’t occur to me until just now that I have shifted my thinking. I don’t worry about money like I used to. I’m not careless with it, but I appreciate it now that I have made my peace with it. I master money, money doesn’t master me.
The Moral of the Story is This:
Don’t get caught up in a cycle of worry. Develop an attitude of gratitude for the things you have. Recognize the good things in your life and let the bad things show you what you want to change.
Until next time,